Relationship is what we all yearn in life.The desire to be in a relationship cuts across or transcends cultural, age , race or color barrier.To avoid heartaches, emotional pains, we need to critically evaluate some inevitable perspectives such as the ones below:
Don’t make decision from fear:So many times people pick a spouse or stay in a miserable relationship from some sort of fear. It’s often much better to be alone and wait for the right person than to make a choice out of fear. Making decisions from fear contributes to confusion, anxiety and a general feeling of something being amiss.
2. Be careful of jumping into a committed relationship right off the bat: It can be tempting to jump right into a committed relationship quickly once you find someone you have a fiery connection with. However, you don’t really know that person yet and you’re becoming emotionally interested in someone you don’t know a lot about. As time progresses, you may find things out that you really don’t enjoy or that you’re genuinely not compatible with in this individual. Since you spent so much emotional energy quickly, this may hurt far more than it’d have if you had time to get to know the person before putting your entire heart into the connection. When we’re in the “amorous” stages of the beginning of a connection, we are often making decisions from lust and fantasy-like projections rather than logic and reality. It is necessary to stay grounded and rational
when deciding to become seriously committed to somebody.
3. Give people a chance that you normally would not give a opportunity to: If I had a dime for every time someone told me they weren’t going to go out with somebody as they weren’t their “kind,” I would be a rich woman! Recall attraction can increase the longer you have to know a person and their character. Still waters run deep and you might not get a chance to get that out if you do not take the opportunity to get to know someone.
4. Throw out your record: Many people have extensive lists of exactly what traits and qualities their perfect spouse has to have. If you box yourself in to a checklist you may miss out on some fantastic games for you. It’s almost impossible to find a perfect checklist partner, and once we think we have found that it we throw all caution to the wind and also dismiss some not so desired qualities. A great connection has psychological compatibility. How does the person make you feel as opposed to what exactly does that person look like on paper?
5. Start looking for qualities that are the basis of a fantastic venture, throw the very small facts out: The qualities of a person that help build the foundation of a fantastic partnership include: Empathy, integrity, honesty, and reliability, kindness and emotional generosity. Should you find these qualities in someone, be curious about pursuing it further, even if they may not look like your type on the surface.
6. Do not let lust function as guide: People have a inclination to put up with a great deal of crap from someone they’re dating when they sense a magnetic chemistry together. Magnetic chemistry includes a powerful power because it isn’t something which happens often. As soon as we find someone we have magnetic chemistry with, not only can it be an aphrodisiac we can’t get enough of but we also confuse it with the right individual (e.g., “that must be right if I feel this strongly!”) . Magnetic chemistry is excellent but do not excuse bad behavior because of it.
7. Do not confuse an “emotional roller coaster” without being crazy about someone: whenever someone is not fully emotionally accessible to us or we do not know where they stand, it creates a type of anxiety. The anxiety has a method of taking over our brains to the point where our thoughts are wholly consumed by this individual. We are constantly thinking about where they are and what they’re doing. Before we know it, we all start planning our lives around them. Perhaps you opt to keep your calendar open only so that you don’t miss an opportunity to find this individual. After the person validates and supports you, it feels amazing! On the flip side, when they remove themselves mentally, ignore, control or berate, it feels like the worst thing on the planet. Soon the relationship has turned into a see-saw of high-highs and low-lows, which can make us feel somewhat crazy or out of our element. Don’t confuse these type of feelings with love.
8. Find someone you can be yourself about: This may sound cliched but it’s authentic. Picking a partner where you feel as though you may be 100 percent yourself without a judgment and complete approval is a fantastic and liberating feeling. It also can be difficult to find venues where you can truly be yourself. A connection needs to be your safe and comfortable place in which you do not need to keep a mask on.
9. Do not wait for something to change that obviously will not: The longer you stay in a situation that you know is finally doomed or doesn’t align with your personal values, the more you block yourself from getting the chance to meet someone.