Loneliness is one of the scourges of humanity. It seems to affect everyone regardless of age or ethnicity. We are all vulnerable. People’s concept of loneliness seem to vary depending on the prevailing position and situation.
What exactly is loneliness? It is a feeling that intimacy, understanding, friendship, and acceptance are missing from one’s life. It is a feeling of isolation or separation from others, a feeling of being all alone. We need to realize that loneliness is nothing more than a feeling. After all, you are not your arms or legs, for they are just parts of your body. Similarly, you are not your feelings, which are just parts of your psyche. Below are some tips on how to manage it:
Accept responsibility. Stop blaming and start taking responsibility for the choices you make. It’stime to make the right choices. You deserve to be happy. So, take the steps that will pull you out ofthe gutter of loneliness. Blame is self-defeating.Responsibility is self-actualizing. Live by the precept,“If it is to be, it is up to me.
Journaling. Need someone to talk to? Talk to yourself in a journal. Keeping a journal is cathartic. It will help you to purge negativity. Ask yourself questions and sit in silence until you get answers.Record the answers and apply them to your life. Example questions are: What would it be like not tobe lonely? How would I act differently? What can I do to change my attitude and behavior? When willI accept responsibility for my own actions? When will I begin to take the steps I know I should take?
Be your own best friend. Learn to like yourself. I don’t mean that you should become egotistical, but just that you should feel goo about yourself. Follow your conscience and you will be proud of yourself and happy to be in your own company. As Wayne Dyer wrote, “You cannot be lonely if you like the person you’re alone with.” If low self-esteem is holding you back, don’t just whine,
pick up a good book on the subject and apply its principles. If you are troubled by psychological pain you experienced in your childhood (criticism, rejection, ridicule, etc.), you can also learn how to heal.
Help others. Loneliness drains one’s energy. Lonely people may just sit around hoping to be noticed. Instead of focusing on themselves and experiencing their own pain, why don’t they look outward and notice the pain of others? Think of all the lonely people in hospitals, for instance. Why stay at home and mope when we can visit hospital patients and relieve their loneliness? If we were to
do so, wouldn’t our loneliness disappear? Isn’t it true that if we wish to have a friend, we must first be a friend?